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( *** = Highly Recommended )
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books about male issues
to retune to the home page of the Men's Inquiry Site
| Title & Author | Description of book | Cover, Select to order book |
| Iron John : a book about men by Robert Bly |
*** "Here, using the Grimm Fairy tale "Iron John" as a vehicle, Bly explores the myths and cultural underpinnings of a distinctly vigorous male mode of feeling, a combination of fierceness and tenderness long since sacrificed to the demands of the industrial revolution." review from Amazon.com, published 1990. . New York, New York: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, Inc.. | |
| Women can't
hear what men don't say: Destroying
Myths, Creating Love by Warren Farrell |
*** "The best-selling author of Why Men Are the Way They Are and The Myth of Male Power now shows couples how to break through the unseen barriers to male communication constructed by society, families, and our culture." review from Amazon.com, published Oct. 1999. | |
| The Rag and Bone Shop of the
Heart: Poems for Men by James Hillman (Editor), Michael Meade (Editor), Robert Bly (Editor) |
***
Robert Bly, James
Hillman, and Michael Meade challenge the assumptions of our
poetry-deprived society in this powerful collection of more than 400
deeply moving poems from
renowned artists including Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson, Langston Hughes,
Theodore Roethke, Rainer Maria Rilke, Marianne Moore, Thomas Wolfe, Czeslaw Milosz, and Henry David Thoreau. review
from Amazon.com |
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| King,
Warrior, Magician, Lover; Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature
Masculine by Robert L. Moore, Douglas Gillette (Contributor) |
*** Arguing that
mature masculinity is not abusive or domineering, but generative,
creative, and empowering of the self and others, Moore and Gillette
provide a Jungian introduction to the psychological foundations of a
mature, authentic, and revitalized masculinity. Harper San Francisco; ISBN: 0062506064 ; |
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A Circle of Men : The Original Manual for Men's Support Groups by Bill Kauth |
*** Robert Bly's foremost advice to his gatherings of men is to go home and form their own groups. This book, 15 years in the making and written by one of the prominent forces in the men's movement, is the original handbook for forming and maintaining a men's support group. | |
| The Way
of the Superior Man : A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of
Women, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Deida |
The Way Of The Superior Man
takes the reader on a powerful journey into the heart of the contemporary
masculine experience. David Deida explores the most
challenging and important issues in men's lives. Covering everything from
work and career, to dealing with sex, women, and love, to finding purpose
in an increasingly superficial and mechanical world, The Way Of The
Superior Man reveals how a man can live a life of fulfillment without
compromise by relaxing into the truth of his very being, discovering his
deepest vision, and giving his gifts without holding anything back.
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Finding our Fire "Enhancing men's connection to heart, passion and strength."
by Martin Brossman |
Both a book and a workbook
on men's issues. A tool to help men gain greater connection to their
gold and bring that gold to their families. It is a stand-alone workbook for
the individual man or a guide for building a men's group for expanded life
enhancement. Finding Our Fire is written with a commitment to
enhance all relationships, valuable reading for men and women. Book coming in 2005, click here and email to be notified of availability date. |
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| Just the
Questions! Drawn from the book Finding Our Fire A 4X6" paperback pocket book by Martin Brossman (and the men of the Men's Inquiry Group) |
These questions have originated from over 10 years of a
monthly meeting that has occurred at my house, open to all
men. The questions are taken from the larger book, “Finding
Our Fire: Enhancing men’s connection to heart, passion and
strength,” which includes comprehensive narrative and
comments from more than 100 men. This includes new question
sets not found in "Finding Our Fire". "Just the Questions!"
Does not contain any comments from other men, just the
questions!
The utility of this book is to: Enhance your relationship with family & friends. Gain greater understanding of the things that seem to influence your life that you’re unaware of. Create your own Men’s Inquiry Group or enhance any current men’s group. ( Click here to see for more about the book Finding Our Fire) |
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| The Men's
Inquiry Live - Special Edition 2006 by Martin Brossman (and the men of the Men's Inquiry Group) |
This is a rare opportunity -- actually the first-ever -- to listen in on a live "Men's Inquiry" meeting. The topic -- "What does it mean to be a man of your word?"-- accurately represents the typical content of this compelling monthly discussion group. Here the participants are courageously exploring their lives around the themes of integrity, responsibility and marriage - expressing their personal insights and resulting commitments. It's a powerful recording. Male listeners may learn more about themselves, and women listeners may discover an aspect or two of men they have never seen before. It is difficult not to be moved by the authentic voices of 18 diverse men in what would normally be a confidential session. The session recorded here was a gift by these men to me on the 10th anniversary of my founding the "Men's Inquiry." The discussion, as usual, is frank and lively, and yes, contains some adult expressions. |
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| Why Men Are the
Way They Are by Ph.d Warren
Farrell, Warren Farrell (Mass Market Paperback - December 1990) |
*** Dr. Farrell, a former board member of NOW, tries to build a bridge of understanding between men and women. Instead of presenting an abridged version of his book, Farrell participates in a planned, animated dialogue with a woman. This format provides easy access to Farrell's key points. More significantly, it serves as a model for male/female conversation. In conversation, according to Farrell, males are on female turf. "The person whose turf it is has to take primary responsibility for creating a safe environment." | |
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The Myth of Male Power |
*** Farrell was on the board of directors of NOW in N.Y.C. until he realized that he'd ``been listening to women but not...to men.'' What he finally heard from men--and from his research into socioeconomic issues--is explosive. Through numerous short-take paragraphs, Farrell--armed with hundreds of thoroughly documented statistics and legal citings--argues that men are oppressed by several "glass cellars,'' among them war (in which it's mainly men who die); suicide ("A husband whose wife dies is about ten times more likely to commit suicide than a wife whose husband dies''); and "the death professions'' . | |
|
Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence by Philip W. Cook |
When most people think of domestic violence, images of battered women or abused children come to mind. But there is another side to the issue that is not as familiar--abused men. This unique book is the first to comprehensively examine this important but neglected issue. Philip Cook is also the VP of a web site on domestic violence: www.safe4all.org | |
| Fire in the Belly : On
Being a Man by Sam Keen |
Written for both men and women, this groundbreaking book takes the reader on a journey to discover new routes to authentic manhood and create alternatives to definitions of masculinity that no longer work in today's world. Reissue edition (April 1992) Bantam Doubleday Dell Pub; ISBN: 0553351370 | |
| If
Men Could Talk: Here's What They'd Say by Alon Gratch |
*** This book
gave me insights into the male psyche and a perspective from this
therapist's point of view. Not only did Dr. Gratch open new avenues in
which to communicate with men but he also shared much of himself with the
reader. In this book, it is evident that his own journey was both
difficult and rewarding. Hardcover - 311 pages 1 Ed edition (February 2001) |
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| Why Men Earn More:
The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap -- and What Women Can Do About It by Warren Farrell |
"Controversial Warren Farrell's latest book
Why Men Earn More takes as its stunning argument the idea that
bias-based unequal pay for women is largely a myth, and that women are most
often paid less than men not because they are discriminated against, but
because they have made lifestyle choices that affect their ability to earn." I am clear of how the title gets some people upset and Warren Farrell address ways women can make more in the jobs he discusses. |
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| Flying Boy : Healing the
Wounded Man by John Lee Health |
Lee discusses his journey to find his true masculinity. Recommended for all men and women who grew up in dysfunctional families and are now ready for fresh insights into their past painful and codependent relationships, published February 1989 ISBN: 1558740066 | |
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I Don't Want to Talk
About It : Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real |
**** When Terrence Real was
studying to be a therapist, he accepted the notion that women suffered
depression at rates several times that of men. Now he believes that
conventional wisdom is wrong, that there has been a great cultural cover-up
of depression in men. Real is convinced of the existence of a mental illness
that is passed from fathers to sons in the form of rage, workaholism,
distanced relationships from loved ones, and self-destructive behaviors
ranging from stupid choices at work and in love to drug and alcohol abuse.
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| The
Secret Life of Men: A Practical Guide to Helping Men Discover Health,
Happiness and Deeper Personal Relationships by Steve Biddulph |
Based on his professional work with
men’s groups and couples as well as his own personal experience, Biddulph
provides a clear and practical roadmap that helps men break free from
society’s outdated and often crippling mold and change their lives for the
better. Using stories, humor, and refreshing candor, Biddulph opens new
pathways for men to healing the past, forming true partnerships with women,
and honoring their own inner needs. He tackles all the key areas of a man’s
life, including: |
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Stories of Manhood: Journeys into the Hidden Hearts of Men by Steve Biddulph (Photographer), David Moore, Karen Johns |
By turns powerful, heartbreaking,
wise, and funny, these essays and other works of nonfiction break down the
narrow stereotypes associated with manhood. The wide variety of perspectives
include Dilbert's view on why men really don't rule the world, a widowed
father learning to show his love to his sons, a teacher explaining why she
loves teaching boys, a man describing his abuse in a church school, a son
nursing his father on an isolated island, and Bill Bryson expressing his
anger about sports. |
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| Absent
Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculine Indentity by Guy Corneau |
Guy Corneau has noticed what I have: he opens by saying that males in
general have more developmental problems than women, and therefore it is
puzzling that more is not being done to help men. Corneau argues that all
men live in a kind of hereditary silence and that we fear that any man who
speaks out about pain is a threat to male solidarity. The result of not
speaking out is that men suffer alone and in silence, and the pain gets
channeled in other directions; as Corneau points out, men far outnumber
women in the prison systems. |
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| The Hazards of Being Male: Surviving the Myth of
Masculine Privilege by Herb Goldberg |
"This book was originally written in 1976, and is considered one of the classics of the men's rights movement. In it, psychologist Dr. Herb Goldberg takes years of clinical experience, and concludes that men, far from being the privileged sex, are actually out of touch with their bodies and emotions, and unhealthily dependent on women. Further, too many men are on a destructive course that leads to mental illness, alcoholism and death. Each chapter in this fascinating book ends with a list of guidelines that the man should study to examine himself." | |
| Hold on to Your
NUTs: The Relationship Manual for Men (Paperback) by Wayne M. Levine (Author) |
"Being a man is a full-time job,
especially when you're married or in a relationship. Hold on to Your N.U.T.s
can help build a life that fulfills both you and your partner by showing you
how to confirm the ideas and causes you support--your Non-negotiable,
Unalterable Terms. The N.U.T.s become the framework for how you conduct your
relationships, whether you're committed to spending more one-on-one time
with your kids or not hiding out at the office to avoid problems with your
wife. By laying down guidelines of what's right and wrong, what you like and
dislike, you will learn to silence the little boy inside and become a
strong, self-assured man who is focused on creating the best life possible
for you and your companion." |
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| A Little Book on the Human Shadow by Robert Bly |
Even after having read Carl G Jung & Robert A Johnson, I found interesting commentary with Robert Bly's writings on the Human Shadow. When he began with his metaphors of "the bag, the film can and projection," I quickly awakened to his supporting roles for Joseph Conrad, Robert Louis Stevenson and Carl Jung! "In the old Gnostic tradition that we don't invent things, we just remember..." Then he calls on his three Europeans "who remember the dark side best." | |
| Dark Nights of the Soul: A Guide to Finding
Your Way Through Life's Ordeals by Thomas Moore |
"Every human life is made up of
the light and the dark, the happy and the sad, the vital and the deadening.
How you think about this rhythm of moods makes all the difference. Are you
going to hide out in self-delusion and distracting entertainments? Are you
going to become cynical or depressed? Or are you going to open your heart to
a mystery that is as natural as the sun and the moon, day and night, and
summer and winter?" The above quotation is the crucial question in Thomas Moore's sequel to his best-selling and ultimately helpful "Care of the Soul." Read in his soothing, contemplative voice it is a challenge to all for everyone of us experiences times of grief, suffering, disappointment, and failure. Rather than reject these experiences, try to avoid them or get through them as quickly as possible, Moore, a former Catholic monk who became a therapist, suggests that we see them as opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. Not an easy task you say. I quite agree. Yet, as Moore speaks from his personal life, cites case studies, and presents stories from art, literature, and mythology, listeners may find both encouragement and strength." |
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| A
Fine Young Man : What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape
Adolescent Boys in Exceptional Men by Michael Gurian |
*** Building on the success of his guide to raising healthy young boys (The Wonder of Boys, Michael Gurian has written the next chapter--a book focusing on the much-maligned adolescent male. Gurian asserts, "We do not understand adolescent-male development, and therefore are unable to give our adolescent males the kind of love they need to become fully responsible, loving, and wise men." Adolescent boys may appear to be self-sufficient, but Gurian asserts that they actually need their parents and elders desperately. The author carefully illustrates what we--as parents, mentors, and educators--need to know about male adolescents, and what we can do to aid them on their journey to adulthood. | |
| The Wonder of
Boys : What Parents, Mentors and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into
Exceptional Men by Michael Gurian. |
In the thoughtful and provocative The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men, therapist and educator Michael Gurian takes a close look at modern boyhood. Gurian asserts that the biological and neurological differences between boys and girls need to be accounted for and nourished in order to raise healthy, happy boys. In discussing boy culture--and the roles of competition, aggression, and physical risk taking--the author concludes, "It's not boy culture that's inherently flawed; it's the way we manage it." | |
|
The Good
Son : Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men |
*** A practical guide for parents in raising sons to become compassionate and responsible men. In calling for a "moral and ethical revival in the raising of boys," therapist Gurian, the author of two prior books about raising boys, speaks to the concern of many that our culture is failing to develop character in its young males. After examining the gender differences in male brains, hormones, and social acculturation that place them at greater risk than females, he argues that boys need more structure, discipline, guidance, and training than is commonly provided. He then spells out the details in a "Good Son Parenting Plan." | |
| Raising
Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by: Dan Kindlon, PH. D. & Michael Thompson, PH. D. |
*** "Boys suffer from a too-narrow definition of masculinity, the authors assert as they expose and discuss the relationship between vulnerability and developing sexuality, the "culture of cruelty" boys live in, the "tyranny of toughness," the disadvantages of being a boy in elementary school, how boys' emotional lives are squelched, and what we, as a society, can do about all this without turning "boys into girls." | |
| Real
Boys' Voices by William S. Pollack Ph.D., Todd Shuster, William S. Pollack |
***
In
this book, Real Boys' Voices, Pollack, a clinical psychologist and
assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, lets
readers get close to his source--the boys themselves, ages 10 to 20, from
all around the country. The voices he presents are searingly authentic and
eager to be heard. Pollack's basic premise is simple: Despite what society
might tell us, boys want to talk. Furthermore, they have a lot to say on a
wide variety of topics, including gender issues, friendship, sex, fear of
violence, and relationships with their mothers and fathers. Hardcover - 224 pages 1 Ed edition (June 6, 2000) |
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Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different-And How to Help Them
Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men by Steve Biddulph |
Biddulph takes you through the key
stages in a boy's development, explaining in an easy to read format what can
be done to assist boys in learning and developing into healthy, happy
people. He explains the difference between what girls need and what boys
need and how to help boys reach their potential. After you read this, you
will be like us - you will be buying this for everyone you know who is
around boys! The best I've read on the subject. Can't wait to read his other
books... |
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| The WAR
AGAINST BOYS by Christina Hoff Sommers |
"It's a bad time to be a boy in America," writes Christina Hoff Sommers. Boys are less likely than girls to go to college or do their homework. They're more likely to cheat on tests, wind up in detention, or drop out of school. Yet it's "the myth of the fragile girl," according to Sommers, that has received the lion's share of attention recently, in hot-selling books like Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia. When boys are discussed at all, it's in the context of how to modify their antisocial behavior--i.e., how to make them more like girls. " | |
| The Dangerous Book
for Boys by Conn Iggulden (Author), Hal Iggulden (Author) |
A wonderful book covering core things the interest boys. Great for a Father or Mother to use as a book to relate to their son's. | |
|
Fatherloss:
How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms With the Deaths of Their Dads by Neil Chethik |
*** Los Angeles Times: "Chethik's
first book is both intimate and revealing . . . [he] tenderly describes the
impact of father loss." Washington Post, January 15, 2001: It's fascinating. Chethik is a sensitive storyteller who interviewed 70 guys in depth about the impact of their father's deaths Chicago Tribune : "His thorough and sensitive new book . . . explores and explains the tender territory of sons of all ages managing . . . grief" |
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FATHER
AND CHILD REUNION: How To Bring The Dads We Need To The Children We Love by WARREN FARRELL, PH.D. |
*** Anyone who cares about the nature of fatherhood today, anyone interested in the legal and emotional issues that divide fathers from children, anyone viewing fatherhood from the perspective of a journalist, social worker, or lawmaker, and any single, married, or divorced parent needs to read this thoughtful and engaging book. Dr. Warren Farrell argues-with surprising and convincing evidence drawn from court cases, law-enforcement records, national statistics, and therapeutic case studies-that the judicial system, media, and government often make dads "the enemy." | |
| The
Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce-Custody Battle: A Tour Through the
Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists & Social Workers, in the
Subculture of Divorce by Robert Seidenberg, William Dawes, Lawrence Peckmezian |
Everyone has heard the story of a father devastated in divorce-custody litigation-losing his home and children, and driven to bankruptcy as a result of child support, alimony, and legal fees. Until now though, one might have thought these were isolated instances. In The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce-Custody Battle, fathers'-rights activist Robert Seidenberg, writing with the legal insights of divorce-attorney William Dawes, starts with the assertion that an abusive legal culture is the norm, and that the brutalization of fathers in court is an everyday occurrence. | |
| Winning Your Divorce: A Man's
Survival Guide by Timothy J. Horgan |
"Horgan cautions men that, once
divorce is undertaken, a man's relationship with his wife becomes
adversarial--and that, contrary to women's longstanding complaint, the
system is unfair to men. He then spells out such safeguards as protecting
assets, hiring a competent lawyer, keeping emotions in check, fighting for
either child custody or reasonable visitation rights (the man is always the
plaintiff, according to Horgan), arranging alimony and child support
(recommended are payments that increase or decrease with the payer's
income). Horgan also offers advice on "discovery," the process by which
evidence is presented, and courtroom behavior. The book is fair-minded,
since it is not a guide to vanquishing the woman, but to aid the man in not
being vanquished. " |
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The Divorced
Dad's Survival Book: How to Stay Connected with Your Kids by David, Ph.D. Knox, Kermit Legget, Kermit Leggett |
In the next century, 50 million American children will go to sleep without being able to say good night to their fathers. The Divorced Dad's Survival Book offers both hope and help for noncustodial fathers who want to stay connected with their children before, during, and after divorce. David Knox, a psychologist and father, is passionate in his premise that dads are not replaceable. But don't expect tips on ex-spouse bashing. Instead, the author's purpose is to minimize conflict with the ex-spouse and "to encourage fathers to continue being fathers and to emphasize that this goal is always worth pursuing no matter what legal or personal obstacles alienation from their spouse may bring." | |
| Faith based men's books | ||
| Wild at
Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul by John Eldredge |
If Christian men are going to change from a pitiful, wimpy bunch of "really nice guys" to men who are made in the image of God, they must reexamine their preconceptions about who God is and recover their true "wild" hearts, writes bestselling author John Eldredge in Wild at Heart: Discovering a Life of Passion, Freedom, and Adventure. Eldredge throws down the gauntlet--men are bored; they fear risk, they refuse to pay attention to their deepest desires. He challenges Christian men to return to authentic masculinity without resorting to a "macho man" mentality. | |
|
Poetry books about male issues |
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| Men
of Their Word Edited by John Allran |
A collection of poems, edited by John Allran,
from men attending the North Carolina Annual Gathering of Men in Efland,
North Carolina 1996-2005 This anthology was produced as a fundraiser for The Triangle Men's Center serving the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area in North Carolina since 1986. Martin Brossman the founder of The Men's Inquiry is one of the poets in the book. This was a 100% volunteer-driven project and we appreciate your support by purchasing a copy. |
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| Angels,
Trees, You And Me: Poetry of the Spirit (Paperback) by Joseph Pio Asterita |
A book about poetry from a man in the Triangle
Area. "A sweet surprise! This beautiful book of poetry will touch your heart and leave you remembering just how special you truly are!" |
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| Angels
Floating Backwards in My Head - by Mike Saleeby |
A book of poems (including haiku) and short stories by Mike Saleeby, with illustrations by Nita Blair and Richard Grassi. Mike lives in Dillon, SC, with his Japanese wife and daughter. He spent many years in Japan, first as an exchange student and then as an English teacher. The author is a graduate of St. Andrews College in Laurinburg, NC. The heart of his style of haiku started in Japan, where he fell in love with traditional haiku, the Land of the Rising Sun itself, and, of course, his lovely wife. Introduction by Ronald H. Bayes of St. Andrews College. Thanks to Martin Brossman for assisting with publishing. | |
| Iron Man Family
Outing : Poems About Transition Into A More Conscious Manhood by Rick Belden |
"Belden has taken my breath away with this compilation of poems. His work contradicts many of the deeply held stereotypes of men. He weaves the reader in and out of both tragedy and hope. His naked truth about his family, his relationships, his work, sex, and discovering himself will take the reader on a journey of intimacy, vulnerability, and strength. A true 'hero' is Belden for taking on such a challenge and rising above the things that haunt many of us. Thank you Rick!" | |
| Letters to a Young Brother:
Manifest Your Destiny By: Hill Harper |
Straight talk and inspiring advice for America's youth is offered by the powerhouse public speaker and star of "CSI: NY." 8-page color insert.
Available
from: Karibu Books Bowie Town Center |
|
If you have other suggestions, please sent them to: men@toinquire.com
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